Smile And Act Nice, and things I hate.

In a famous "Googleit!" attempt to discover how to become a dominatrix (I had a day off, what'd you expect me to do, stay at home and have sex with boys on the internet? wait a second...) I ran across a very cool website, the kind with a title that makes you think that these gals know exactly where you're coming from: http://www.smileandactnice.com

I read through the article (an interview with a professional dominatrix by the name of Mistress Elle), and, impressed, head to the site's main page. Given the section heading choices of Sex, Food, News, Home, and Life, I obviously choose Sex, and find myself reading hands down the best on-line sex advice column I have ever read. Lynne, their resident Ho In The Know has five "Ask-A-Ho" question & answer columns covering topics from how to have better orgasms to whether one should spit or swallow. Her advice is non-nonsense (learn to give yourself a pleasurable orgasm, then teach your partner), and honest ("swallow... or at least try"). Please. Read every single one.

Her best advice, however, comes to this guy:

I recently caught my wife kissing her best girlfriend. She told me that she had done this about 3 other times before. Being that her girlfriend is one of her best friends, she occasionally spends the night at her house. I am fairly certain that they sleep in the same bed. My wife has told me that she is not gay or bi. I mostly believe her, but because we are having some problems lately, I am beginning to question it. In general, do girls do this without being bi or lesbian? Any advice?

To which our dear columnist replies:

Hmmmm... sounds a little fishy to me. If your wife feels comfortable enough to make-out with her friend while you're in the vicinity, chances are they've been practicing. But it doesn't matter what the gender of the object of your wife's affections, unless you haven an"open" marriage arrangement in place, it's still cheating, isn't it? Mind you, this little foray doesn't necessarily mean your wife is gay, or even bisexual--but that's not the issue here. You two need to identify your problems and redefine what you each want out of your lives together, both sexually and emotionally. Good luck.

Which brings me to the two things I want to point out that I hate:

1. Awesome websites that haven't been updated since 2003.
2. When men think, for some warped reason that if their female significant other does something sexual with another woman it's not cheating.

Number one speaks for itself. If you are a progenitor of Smile & Ask Nicely and trip across this blog, please be encouraged to pick it up again, and if you can't be convinced, then please accept my thanks.

Number two is my ranting and raving at the universe for sexist double standards. And to take this opportunity, underneath a little line, and in a smaller font, to tell a Q-list celebrity sighting story.

*Note* If you are a man with a reasonable explanation of this, please tell me. If you are a woman who has tips for not worrying about this sort of thing all the time, please drop me a line.

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There was a sub-plot on the Showcase TV show "Naked Josh" where main-character Josh's best friend's girlfriend cheats on him with another woman. Because "it's not *really* cheating," girlfriend doesn't get dumped, best friend just gets a single get-out-of-jail-free card to sleep with another woman. *Fume*

At my sister's birthday this year, the actor who plays Josh was sitting a table away from us, with two stick-thin girls in little black dresses, and a second guy who actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

Five Things Feminism Has Done For Me

As a collective web-response to the attacks being levied at Status of Women Canada/Condition Feminine Canada, over at ProgressiveBloggers.ca, they've asked us bloggish types to post five things that feminism has done for us. All over the Canadian internet people have posted well-thought-out, reasoned, touching, empowering lists. The following may or may not be one of them. But that's because feminism has as much impact on the quotidien as it does on the global.

Because of feminism...

1 - I wasn't shunned for not bringing a date to my high school prom
2 - I can build a career as a sex writer, and as a stage manager
3 - I don't feel obliged to shave my legs (or anything else for that matter)
4 - I can choose whether or not I want to have kids
5 - I'm taken seriously when I open my mouth to speak. Or if I'm not, it's because I'm an annoying, mouthy person, not because I'm a woman.

Status Report - Status of Women Canada/Condition Feminine Canada

Status of Women Canada/Condition Feminine Canada, the federal agency responsible for funding women's groups in Canada, as well as conducting gender-based policy research, has just had its budget radically sliced up by the Conservative government. Its mandate has been altered so that it no longer includes the word "equality," and as recently as this week, groups who receive funding through Status of Women Canada/Condition Feminine Canada are now no longer able to use those funds to do government lobbying.

But guess what Stephen Harper, the feminists are coming, and they're pissed off.

If you'd like to learn more, or to get involved, please leave me a comment with an email address, or you can check out the fledgeling site: http://www.statusreport.ca